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If you love animals, specifically birds, please do not read this post. I unintentionally killed one of God's precious creatures. 

It all started with Pinterest, I mean really, what doesn't?

This was my vision for the backyard for Little Lady's birthday party:

Unfortunately, on the day of her party it rained so we had to move the pumpkin patch to the porch. It still looked cute and I was happy with the way it turned out. We decided to leave everything out there for another party we are hosting in several weeks.

Please see exhibit A where you notice something has been munching away on the corn... 

My first thought when I noticed this was "aw, we are feeding the neighborhood animals. That is so cute.  We are good people." 

We learned later this week as The Hubby was about to leave for work that we are not only feeding the neighborhood animals, but the neighborhood rodents, specifically a rat. 

Foul. 

I am all for loving God's creatures, but a rat, on my porch, attacking my baby is just gross. Sorry PETA. 

The Hubby decided he would pick up some rat traps on the way home from work. I didn't think this was hasty enough for my rat-removal taste.  I had the grand idea to put down sticky traps

…Outside

…In nature

…Where all God's creatures play and frolic in THEIR environment....

So before The Hubby left for work, he placed two sticky traps outside, right underneath the corn. I waited and watched but no visitors came. 

Mid morning, I decided to walk the Little Lady to the library for weekly Storytime. Upon coming home an hour later I noticed one of the sticky traps was gone. 

First thought: Yeah! We got him!!!

Second thought: Oh dear, is that chipmunk? That’s terrible if that’s a chipmunk.

Third thought: Oh no.  Oh no.  That’s not a rat or a chipmunk.  Oh my goodness that’s a bird, two birds.  I’m a bird-killer.  I need to dispose of the bodies. 

I then did the most logical thing I could think of - call The Hubby.  He didn't pick up the phone.  He obviously had no idea what trauma was taking place in our backyard at the moment, and that he was married to a bird-killer.  I then did the next most logical thing - I called my best friend/neighbor to see if 1. her husband was home, and 2. if they happened to be taking a family stroll by my house in the next 30 minutes.  He wasn't home, and upon learning of the massacre happening in my yard at the moment, there would be no strolling by our house anytime soon.

I then had to wait 4 HOURS for my friend Ryan to come over and dispose of our flying friends.  I will spare the details, but he disposed of them and they are now in birdie heaven.  

DO NOT put sticky traps outside because you never know what you might catch, and it might be more than you bargained for - says the village idiot.